Previous English skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the disease.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and hesitating to completely absorb that at the minute," he said.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's going. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his current wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the illness progresses.
"Possibly that's trauma or perhaps I handle situations uniquely, and after I have the information, it's more manageable," he continued.
First Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a series of scans revealed nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly quite emotional about it, but it's so strange because I think everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't feel ill. I don't feel poorly
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I continue to be competent to performing all activities. And hopefully that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Disease Advancement
MND can progress swiftly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a 33% of people within a 365 days and above half within two years of detection, as ingestion and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only slow deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," commented an emotional Moody.
"There's sadness around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Effect
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We sat on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and began cleaning the tears off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody said the emphasis was being in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be so strongly concentrated on just welcoming and appreciating everything now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been really blessed that the only real determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those years back."
Athlete Connection
Elite sportspeople are unevenly impacted by MND, with investigations proposing the prevalence of the disease is up to six times elevated than in the wider community.
It is thought that by limiting the air accessible and creating harm to nerve cells, consistent, vigorous exercise can activate the illness in those already vulnerable.
Athletic Career
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, relentless style to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a workout confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a training equipment and began engaging in physical contacts.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive phase of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop kick.
Assistance Network
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a handful of other ex- colleagues about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the present, just having that type of care and recognition that people are available is what's important," he stated.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your passion your vocation, it's one of the most important honors.
"To have done it for so long a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will wish to support in whatever way they can and I await having those conversations."
